Admitting We Were Powerless

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Today at my AA meeting there was someone attending for her very first time.  I love it when there is someone new at a meeting because it reminds me of all of the wonderful advice I heard and my first meeting and all of the other first meetings I’ve been a part of since then.  Those first meetings are where we as alcoholics gain the most wisdom and see that AA isn’t a place where alcoholics go to be miserable, but rather a place where alcoholics go because they need to be reminded of how happy life can be, sober.

Continue reading

Moving On

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  I’ve been finding it incredibly difficult lately to move past this feeling of inadequacy that I’ve experienced over the last few days in particular.  I can’t help but feel like I haven’t been a good enough Christian, a good enough employee, a good enough friend, and a good enough daughter.  Although selfishness isn’t the only personality trait at fault, it is the one that is constantly following me around and nagging me.  I feel like once I get past this selfishness I am experiencing, I will be able to live my faith-filled and sober life more freely.

Continue reading

Uselessness and Self-Pity

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Today I think my self-esteem was the lowest its been in quite some time.  I felt bad from the moment I woke up and I stayed feeling pretty bad throughout the day.  The AA promises tell us, “The feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear,” and I suppose today I was waiting for that.  Each day I feel like I’m getting stronger and learning how do deal with small, everyday irritants, but sometimes I let them bury themselves deep in my mind and heart and I find it difficult to move past that.

Continue reading

Meeting Expectations

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  I’ve realized today that I’m sick of trying to meet everyone’s expectations for me.  The only expectations I need to meet are my own.  Its little things like this that I’m learning each day.  Sometimes it takes time to sink in, but I feel like I will eventually get it.  The problem is that I often feel like I’m not meeting my own expectations, and that’s a bit disappointing.

Continue reading

Closer to God

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Today marked actually obtaining one month of sobriety, which wasn’t easy.  It was a lot of work and came with a lot of challenges, but I’m very grateful to be here happy, sober, and feeling much better than before.  I’ve found that AA meetings, God, and other alcoholics have been the most important part of maintaining my sobriety. I’m very grateful for the program and that it is able to make such an incredible change in people’s lives.

Continue reading

Tell Them You Love Them

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Something I’ve learned through both faith and sobriety is to tell those we care about that we love them through our words and our actions.  We frequently think to ourselves, “Oh, I told so and so that I love them so they know,” but often those words can be empty, said out of habit more than anything else.  I’ve learned recently that it’s the little things that truly show others that we care about them, and the reward is greater than reciprocation, because often we don’t seek that at all.  The reward is seeing the joy that we can bring into people’s lives by the personal thoughts and actions that show them we care.

Continue reading

Off Day

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Its days like this I’m incredibly thankful for my faith and for Alcoholics Anonymous.  Without them, I probably would have drank today.  It’s really as simple as that.  It’s amazing how much something can affect one’s life in such a short amount of time, but I’ here to say that if you put your mind to it and dedicate yourself to something, the outcome is fantastic.

Continue reading

Finally Telling the Truth

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  The last few days I’ve had some extremely short posts, and I’m sorry about that.  Life gets hectic, but I promised myself I would at least write everyday, and I have.  Now I have a bit more time to sit down and go over the details of a stressful, challenging, fun, relaxing, blessed weekend.

Continue reading

Overwhelming Support

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I'm an alcoholic. Today was a very good day after the not so good say I had yesterday. I went to visit my #313 family, and I am blessed to have the best RCIA sponsor and Godparent I could ever ask for. The love and support I feel from this family is completely overwhelming. I'm so happy to be out at the lake, enjoying nature and the sun, and seeing God all around me.
Continue reading

Not So Bad

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  As you know, I had been quite worried about the last two days.  I didn’t know how I was going to talk to my parents about my faith and my drinking or how I was going to handle being in a social situation with so much alcohol.  I’m here today to say that everything went just fine.

Continue reading