Embrace the Now

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Today I had a few reality checks in my life, some good, others not so good.  The thing about those reality checks is that we all need them every once in a while to remind us that life isn’t always as good or as bad as we assume it is.  When I have these reality checks I am reminded that I should never take anything for granted and that I should appreciate all of the good things and kindness I have in my life.

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Over to the Care of God

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Today I had a little upset in my plans for the future.  I should have known things weren’t going to go as I had planned anyway, but this one was really a bummer.  But, as with all things, I’ll just have to persevere if I want to continue what is best for my faith and for my sobriety.

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Rigorous Honesty

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Thinking about what I’ll be writing about is often difficult.  Sometimes I’ll have something that has been on my mind all day and its the only thing I want to write about.  Other times, like tonight, I begin writing with no expectation of how this post will end.  I often find that is when I am able to express myself the most freely.  Let’s get to the end of this post and see if that’s true.

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Reaching Out

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Well, I did it.  After a week of panicking about giving a live testimony at mass I was finally able to walk up there and speak in front of, well, I don’t even want to think about how many people.  The anxiety I felt was like nothing I had felt before, really, but hearing positive things from people I didn’t know after made it entirely worth it.

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Living Freely with Faith

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Tomorrow/today/Sunday, for whenever you’re reading, I have to make a short speech at church about the way Alpha has changed my life.  While I’ve already written my testimony and watched someone else give a beautiful testimony of her own this afternoon, it doesn’t make me any less nervous to speak in front of so many people.  My friend told me, “You are acting as a conduit for Jesus’ word to bring people to him,” and I will just have to keep reminding myself of that while I’m up there spreading His word.

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Guilt

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  I’m very grateful to be happy and sober each day.  It was a long, busy, exhausting day, but I made it through without temptation and for that I am blessed.  Today was my grandmother’s 84th birthday and while I was talking to her on the phone, she mentioned to me that my dad was literally crying the other day because he said he was sad that I don’t call him anymore.  My grandma has been pretty good about lying on the guilt lately, and I can’t help but take it to heart.

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Open, Honest, Faith-Filled

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  I can’t believe I actually missed posting to my blog yesterday.  But, life got in the way.  Good news is I’m still happy and sober and blessed beyond measure.  Anytime I get to share food, thought, and conversation with great people is a joy.  I’m so grateful to be surrounded by such great people that I’m able to enjoy life with.

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Nor Wish to Shut The Door On It

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Often I look back on the events that have led me to where I am in life, and even the not so happy ones, I’m grateful for.  I’m grateful that I was able to learn and to move on to be a happier, healthier me.  Not all are as fortunate as I am, and I know and understand that.  I try not to take for granted how blessed I am to have been able to learn from my past mistakes and move onto a better future.

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Admitting We Were Powerless

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Today at my AA meeting there was someone attending for her very first time.  I love it when there is someone new at a meeting because it reminds me of all of the wonderful advice I heard and my first meeting and all of the other first meetings I’ve been a part of since then.  Those first meetings are where we as alcoholics gain the most wisdom and see that AA isn’t a place where alcoholics go to be miserable, but rather a place where alcoholics go because they need to be reminded of how happy life can be, sober.

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Moving On

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  I’ve been finding it incredibly difficult lately to move past this feeling of inadequacy that I’ve experienced over the last few days in particular.  I can’t help but feel like I haven’t been a good enough Christian, a good enough employee, a good enough friend, and a good enough daughter.  Although selfishness isn’t the only personality trait at fault, it is the one that is constantly following me around and nagging me.  I feel like once I get past this selfishness I am experiencing, I will be able to live my faith-filled and sober life more freely.

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