The Noticeable Change

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Today was a very good day.  Despite all of the stress I encountered at work and the stress of sitting in a bar with my family and friends and telling myself I couldn’t have a drink, the day was very good because I’m ending it sober.  I faced temptation directly and I won.  Its a small accomplishment, but its one I’m proud of nonetheless.

I really haven’t told a lot of people that I am and have been going to AA meetings, especially at work.  There is one doctor that I work for, however, that I thought deserved to know.  She’s been very supportive of me over the last six years that I’ve worked there, but my drinking was always a concern for her, and she said as much to me several times.  I thought I owed it to her to tell her that I decided to stop drinking and that I was going to start going to AA meetings.  When I was preparing to tell her about my decision to stop drinking I was terrified that she would be disappointed that my drinking had become that big of a problem.  I told her, “I don’t want you do be disappointed in me, but I want you to know that I have decided to stop drinking and that I’m going to start going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.”  All of that fear was washed away when she wrapped me in the tightest hug and told me that she could never be disappointed in me when I was trying to do something so good for myself.  It was nice to actually hear the words, “I could never be disappointed,” in regards to my decision to stop drinking.

This doctor went away on a vacation about a week after that and I just saw her for the first time in two weeks.  Immediately she asked me, “How are you doing? What day are you on?”  I of course told her that I was doing great and that I was on day number 25 and she said, “I’m so proud of you.  You just look happier and healthier than you did when I left.”  It made me feel good to know that someone was able to notice a difference in me in the last two weeks.  Of course I think that I’m feeling better and happier, but that doesn’t mean that feeling is always making an outward appearance.

I think some other people also noticed the change in me today, but that’s a longer story for another day when I’m not completely exhausted.  Today, though, I’ll mark down as a very good day.  I haven’t had many of those lately, so I’ll take advantage of it when I can.

 

Our Father, who art in Heaven…

 

I’m very blessed to be here with all of you as I begin this 26th day of sobriety, and I look forward to many more.

With love,

Jessie

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