Things We’ve Stolen

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  I was at an AA meeting yesterday and someone said something that really struck me.  He said, “When I was an alcoholic I never really did anything illegal other than drinking and driving.  I never got in to too much trouble, I never stole, anything like that….”  It made me think; Alcoholics are thieves.  Even if we don’t steal something tangible like money or jewelry, we steal things even more precious.  Alcoholics steal time, happiness, love, and peace from themselves and from those they love.  We all steal, it just takes some time to realize it.

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The Retreat

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Today I said those words more times than I thought I would to people I’ve known for six months, to people I’ve known for six weeks, and to the usuals at my AA meeting.  Today was a very special day – the Alpha day away retreat.  In Alpha this is a time to be completely filled with the Holy Spirit and to learn how to welcome the Holy Spirit into your life.  When I first went on the Alpha retreat day in March I was still very skeptical of the Holy Spirit and the power of prayer, but my journey of faith in the last seven months has been incredible and this time around I was completely receptive to open my heart and mind to the Holy Spirit and God’s love.

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Into a Closer Union With God

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Tonight I was so happy I was able to get to my RCIA session because I feel like the group of us had more time to have discussions than usual, which is something we really needed to bond as a group.  This weeks session was about Saints and how they help guide us in our faith.  One of the questions we were asked to reflect on for the week is “Who are the saints who have brought you into a closer union with God?”  These “saints,” could be figures in the church or figures in our personal lives, as long as they help bring us closer to Jesus.  There are three people in particular who have truly acted as saints in my life, and I’m blessed to know them.

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How Does God Guide Us?

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Today was another very successful night at Alpha where we discussed how God guides us.  When I first went through the Alpha course in the spring, I hadn’t known exactly how God could guide my life.  Now, just a little bit more than six months later, its incredible for me to be able to witness and recognize just how God guides my decisions each and everyday.

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Surrender

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  100 days ago I surrendered myself to a disease called alcoholism.  I began to understand that I was not going to be able to win the battle I was fighting, and although I was fortunate to never get into an accident, get a DUI, hurt myself or worse, hurt someone else, all of those things were right around the corner if I didn’t take action and stop my drinking while I could.  As I surrendered my drinking, I began to see all of the things I surrendered so that I was able to maintain my extremely unhealthy drinking habits I had come to think of as normal.  I surrendered many things, but I’m happy to be getting some of them back.

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The Promises

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  One of my favorite things to read at AA meetings is The Promises.  I always joke that one of the gentlemen I see often at meetings and myself fight over who gets to read The Promises because we both want to remind ourselves of what we can achieve if we just remain sober.  The Promises are extraordinary and many people think they are unobtainable, but they are not.  Even in my short time of sobriety I am seeing the Promises already unfolding before my eyes, and I am incredibly grateful.

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Honest to God

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  It has been getting easier and easier to say that as the days have gone on.  Never in my life would I ever have expected to be saying that phrase out loud six or seven times a week, yet, I find myself doing exactly that.  I think if I told people who knew me in high school my story, they wouldn’t believe it.  If you told me seven years ago that this was going to be my story, I wouldn’t believe it myself, but I’ve come to accept and embrace it.

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Guidance and Wisdom

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Today I went to a meeting of alcoholics anonymous that is a women’s only meeting, which is something I don’t usually like.  This particular meeting, however, has become one of my favorites.  The women at this meeting are absolutely loving, welcoming, encouraging, experienced, and wonderful.  It is one meeting during the week I look forward to because I know I am going to hear an abundance of wisdom when I’m there.  Today we had a newcomer to the group which is always my favorite type of meeting because I love hearing everyone’s stories of how they came to AA, and this was absolutely no different.

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Excuse the Absence

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Sorry about my absence – I had to take a break for my mental, emotional, and physical health, but I’m back and good as ever.  In the last few weeks I feel like I’ve had a change of attitude towards myself, towards others, towards my alcoholism and towards my faith.  I’m very grateful to be able to notice the changes in myself as I made it to ninety days of sobriety, to three months of sobriety and beyond.

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Wishes and Regrets

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  I debated a lot with myself about whether or not I wanted to write anything tonight, and I figured just as it goes with meetings, when I don’t want to is when I need to the most.  So, here I am after a day of absence, with a lot on my mind but nothing I care to share.  The other day I wanted to talk about regrets but then I just didn’t feel like taking that much time to write.  If I talked about all of the regrets I have I would be here all day.  I’m not going to make this a long and philosophical post because I’m quite made at myself right now and I just want to go to sleep and forget the day, but I promised myself I’d write as often as I could and I’m not going to add not keeping that promise to myself to my list of regrets.

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