God’s Grace and Mercy

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Today I started that process I was talking about yesterday – RCIA.  I am so thrilled to be on this incredible journey of faith and discovering who Jesus is to me and how He fits into my life.  Today was our first RCIA meeting and we were asked to reflect on a few questions.  I’m going to answer one of them in this post: When have you experienced God’s grace and mercy?

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So Long to the Pink Cloud

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  I’ve been fortunate that for the last few weeks I haven’t really had the urge to drink…until tonight.  I honestly don’t know what it was, but there was a part of me that just wanted to say, “screw it,” and stop at the bar and get a drink.  It was a craving that went as quickly as it came, but it was scary nonetheless, how quickly I was willing to throw over two months of work away.  Thankfully, I had a wonderful night at Alpha and I kept that in my conscience, remembering the gifts that God has given me, and I knew for certain that having a drink would not be worth the consequences I would suffer.

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Another Blessed Day

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  As has been the case lately, its been a terribly busy day.  I’m glad I’m able to be so clear-headed, focused, and able to fill my days with such positive things, though.  The person I was this time last year would have been spending my days at work, my afternoons getting drunk, and my evenings wishing the room would stop spinning just long enough for me to fall asleep.  Thank God for the blessings He has given me so that I was able to turn my life around.  I don’t have much to say tonight, just wanted to check in and say how blessed I am, as always, to have my sobriety and the love of God in my life.

 

Our father, who art in Heaven…

 

I’m very grateful to be here with all of you on this 65th day of sobriety, and I look forward to many more.

 

With love,

Jessie

Back for More

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Sorry I’ve been away for a few days, but things got busy and hectic and if I had to give one thing up in my schedule to get enough rest, this was going to be it.  Things have hopefully calmed down a bit, though, so I’m back at things.  I’ve got a lot going on in my life right now, but I’m very excited about what the future has to offer.

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The Start of Something New

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  Today was the first session of Alpha and I would say that it was a huge success.  It was so great to see people coming together for the common reason of wanting to be closer to Jesus Christ, and it was wonderful to hear what brought people to Alpha to begin with.  It is such a great program that I truly can’t speak of highly enough.  I’m praying that I will be able to watch incredible transformations of faith occur in the next couple of months.

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Coming Up

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic. I don’t really have a lot to say right now. I’m looking ahead at the busy week and thinking about how grateful I am to have a clear and sober state of mind to be present for everything coming up. The next session of Alpha is starting and I beyond thrilled to watch people discover a relationship with Jesus just as I did. I’m praying for it to be a great experience.

That’s all I have for now. I’ll be back tomorrow with more.

Our Father, who art in Heaven…

I’m very blessed to be here with all of you on this 58th day of sobriety, and I look forward to many more.

With love,

Jessie

Time to be Honest

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  I’ve been talking about honesty a lot lately.  Mainly, I’ve been talking about my inability to be completely honest with myself and with others.  I find it difficult to break down the wall I have put up around myself to protect my vulnerability.  Today I’m going to be honest, even if I don’t have much to say.

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Ready for the Future

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic. Today I really, really don’t have much to say because I am extremely exhausted.  I’m very grateful to be able to write here each day, to let everything out here when I need to, and to be able to just write a paragraph or two for my sanity when I’m too tired to do much more.  Its a great gift that I try not to take advantage of.

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Learning to be Honest

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  I went to two AA meetings today and I cried at both of them.  I’m not sure why I’ve been getting so emotional at AA meetings lately – I suppose it’s God’s way of telling me that I just need to cry.  I had been worried for a while that I wasn’t being open or honest enough at meetings, but perhaps I’m finally letting the walls down that I always keep up to protect myself and I’m finally allowing myself to be vulnerable in front of people who only want to help me stay sober.

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You’re Only A Day Away

God, grant me the serenity…

Hi, my name is Jessie and I’m an alcoholic.  I don’t really have a whole lot to say today.  I’ve got a full, busy weekend ahead of me and I’m trying to mentally prepare myself for lunch with my parents in about 12 hours.  I talked to my mom this morning and she asked me, “Is it okay if Dad and I drink even though we will be with you and your church friends?”  This is the kind of support I’m getting, and this is exactly why I have yet to tell my parents that I’m an alcoholic.  This was at 1pm and they were already worried about being able to have a drink at 11:30am the next day.

I am going to be keeping the serenity prayer in mind as I sit with my parents tomorrow morning.  Luckily, I am going to an AA meeting right before I meet them for lunch and I will hopefully get some great advice on how to handle the situation.  That’s all I really have for today.

 

Our Father, who art in Heaven…

 

I’m very blessed to be here with all of you on this 54th day of sobriety, and I look forward to many more.

With love,

Jessie